Grocery Shopping with Multiples

Shopping is at best an errand, and more likely a chore, but throw in a few children, and it the difficulty level heightens greatly.  There have been times I was so desperate I drove through McDonald's and ordered only milk.  I've also gone to the drive through at Rite Aid and begged them to grab some diapers for me.  Over the years I have picked up a few tips and tricks to make things more manageable.  

1. Grocery Delivery - When this service first made its way to the Capital Region, I did cartwheels. Shop Rite was first, but now certain Hannafords, Price Choppers and even Walmart are following suit.  It takes some time to set it all up, but once you have it all organized online, it's so easy to go through and click what things you use regularly. Some fees may apply, but there are often coupons that they send to offset the cost. Picking up curbside may be cheaper than actual delivery and does save you from having to go into the store.  But even if you do have to incur a fee, it can be totally worth it to get the week's shopping done without dragging the kids through the store.   

2. CSA Share - We are lucky to live in a community that has so many local farms.  I myself have tried Field Goods, as they deliver to my employer. Theirs is paid per week, and you can elect to not do it if it's an off week. Others, like Kristy's Barn you pay up front in the spring, and get fresh produce all summer and fall. You are sharing the risk though, so if it's a bad year, you may not get as much produce.  Often sharing with another family is a good idea if you do a CSA share, as there tends to be a lot of one thing per week.

3. Meal Delivery Plans - There are many - Plated, Blue Apron, Hello Fresh, Home Chef. Even Martha Stewart is getting in on this. these aren't the cheapest, but they do offer a convenience. It is cheaper and more nutritious than take out. They often offer trials for a discount, so you could go through and try each one. We did Plated for quite a while. The meals were great, though not so kid friendly, and only meant for 2 people. For those with infants this may not be an issue, and may help you save some time.  A few of the companies allow for opting for more than 2 servings.  You can also buy extra and stretch them, but then you lose some of the convenience factor, and may actually have to set foot in the grocery store.  

4. Amazon Prime - Good old Amazon - What would I do without you?  I used to religiously order through Soap.com for diapers and paper towels, but then Amazon gobbled them up. Prime Pantry is a wonderful way to stay out of the middle aisles of the grocery store.  Bonus, I can often get stuff that doesn't grace the shelves of my local grocery store.  Gluten Free Thin Mints - yes please! 

5.  School lunch - Hear me out.  I know your kid probably doesn't eat anything and thinks school lunches are gross.  If you are one of those moms who is cutting grapes in half for your Kindergartners' Bento lunch box, more power to you.  I do find though that using the school lunch option keeps me out of the grocery store.  No bread? Fine, tomorrow is pizza day, you're buying lunch.  I do find it's cheaper as well.  Government cheese is heavily subsidized.  My grocery cart is not.   

There will of course be those occasions where you can't wait 24 hours for delivery and have to break down and bring the brood to the grocery store.  For those with infants, Use what you've got.  If you have to use your stroller, so it. If it's a big shop, push the stroller, pull the cart. If you have a front pack, put one baby in the infant seat cart, and wear the other.  My twins loved this arrangement when they were about 8 months old, as they could see each other and make faces. For toddlers, the car cart is good, if they stay in it. I've had better luck with the big double carts a la Target. I would often opt for Target over a grocery store just because there was a much better shot of having the double kid carts available.  (You want side eye from me, take one of those babies at any given store, and have you 8 and 5 year olds walk next to it.)  Or if you can swing it, wait till the kids are in bed.  Hannaford is a very peaceful place at 10pm on a Friday night.  

Mommy's Favorite Milestones

Some parents wait anxiously for that first word, or the first steps.  Those milestones are for chumps. You spend the next 17 or so years telling them to sit down and be quiet.  The real milestones that actually make a difference in Mommy's world are way different than what you find spaces for in baby books.

1.  Being able to hold your own bottle - I had twins, and I can tell you, I contorted into all sorts of positions with various pillows and boppys to be able to feed 2 babies at once.  As soon as they were able to hold their own bottles, my entire world changed!

2.  Being able to self feed - Once you are able to sit them in a high chair with some puffs or a saltine, again, your world changed. You can cook a meal, you can eat a meal, perhaps even while it is hot!

3.  Throwing up in the toilet -  When the twins were 3 or so, we were cursed with a stomach bug.  However, my daughter had an aha moment.  "I frow up in da toilet so I don't make a mess." Yes YESYESYES!!! Life changing indeed.

4.  Being able to get their own cereal - This will change your weekend mornings.  You may actually be able to sleep beyond the break of dawn.

5.  Being able to answer the phone - My house phone is able to announce the name of the caller.  I have it programmed to say if "Daddy" or "Grandma" is calling.  My cell phone has pictures of beloved family members.  It is wonderful to let them pick up the phone, especially if I am in the shower.  If they do happen to accidentally pick up and get a telemarketer, the results are often amusing.  My preschooler once gave one poor unsuspecting person an earful about how there aren't many words that begin with the letter X.

6.  Locating their father - No longer do I have to scream up the stairs, or tramp out to the garage in my pajamas. I can relay messages through my children.

7.  Packing lunches - This is not my favorite thing.  Some moms do love notes and cute heart sandwich cutouts.  I use my credit card to put money in the school lunch account. My eldest quickly learned that if she didn't want to eat goulash on Tuesdays, she would have to pack her own lunch. One less thing for me in the mornings.

8.  Dressing oneself - Speaking of mornings, picking out their own clothes and being able to actually put them on their body is a big deal.  We have discovered that my younger daughter has quite the fashion sense.  In contrast, my son has a sense of humor about his clothes, and frequently declares it is backwards day if you point out that Mario should be on his chest and not on his back.

9.  Buckling seat belts - No more back seat yoga poses!  I have ended up underneath the car on an icy day whilst attempting to buckle wiggly toddlers in snow suits into 5 point harnesses.

10.  Being able to tell you about their day - Relaying a story is no small feat.  I have 2 kids in speech therapy. Them being able to tell you that they had grilled cheese for lunch and then did finger paints at school and baked cookies at grandma's house is a really big deal.  For the moments that I miss, I get to feel like I was there.

Upcoming Meetings

Our meetings are held at the East Greenbush Community Library  

Wednesday, September 13th at 6:30 pm
Tuesday, October 17th at 6:30 pm
Thursday, November 16th at 6:30 pm

The library address is 10 Community Way, East Greenbush, NY.

Classroom Separation Anxiety

  When you have twins, there are a number of parenting questions and challenges that come up that the singleton mom never has to face.  (A singleton mom is one that birthed just one child per pregnancy in case you are not up on the lingo of the multiple mom).  Perhaps the biggest question that plagues our minds is whether to not to separate the twins when they get to school.
     There are valid arguments on both sides of the issue.  On the pro side, separation can help the twins to form their own separate identities and not be viewed as a unit of "the twins".  Having them apart prevents the teacher from mixing them up, or comparing the two.  They will be more likely to have their own friends and interests, and not ride one another's coat tails. Sibling rivalry can be problematic in the classroom.  You would never hit a classmate, but hitting your brother is a daily occurrence. Also, if one twin is more dominant, and the other more introverted, the more loquacious will answer for both.
     On the side of keeping them together there are just as many valid arguments.  Being together keeps them from feeling alone or abandoned.  If one of your twins is an "informer" you will get a better picture of what is going on in the classroom.  There isn't the inherent unfairness of more or less homework, or better field trips. You don't have to split yourself in two on parent's night or at the holiday parties.  You only have to make 24 cupcakes on their birthday, not 48, and invite just one class, not two, to a party.
     From early on, I felt that I would like to keep my twins together.  I recently got confirmation that our district is very flexible, and has done it both ways.  This was a relief to me.  I don't want to be bullied into separating them, as so many parents are.  While I can see both sides, and would never criticize those that think separation is best for their kids, I want to make the decision as to what is best for my individual kids.
     If you ask them, they will tell you without hesitation that they want to stay together.  I realize that I am the parent, and my husband and I are responsible for making decisions for them.  However, their own wishes and desires should be taken into account nevertheless.
      Some other factors that are particular to my children are present as well. I'll share my reasoning for argument's sake.  For them, there truly is not a dominant twin, which per anecdotal history is a rarity.  My singleton and eldest is most assuredly the dominant personality in the house.
      The fact that they are boy/girl twins will prevent the teacher from mixing them up (hopefully) and assures that they likely will have different friends even if they are in the same class, as they are already quite individual in their tastes and preferences.
      Another burning issue for me is my daughter's hearing impairment.  While we have been working on her speech with a therapist, and made a second home of our ENT's office, the issues persist.  I hate to put her in a setting without him.  I do know that she eventually needs to make her own way in the world, and that I really should not saddle her brother with the burden of being her ears.  However, I can't help but think that the fact that they are twins is a blessing in disguise.
     As for my son, my daughter is his conscience.  I fear for the teacher that gets my son without my daughter present.  That teacher would have a rough year for sure. There is no one who can calm him down after a melt down like she can.   His future wife will need to make use of her expertise.
     Also, I have a family history of twins. Though my grandmother passed away shortly after the twins were born, she and I did have long phone conversations while I was pregnant and on bed rest.  She imparted much wisdom on the care and feeding of 2 babies at once and all other twin related issues.  She kept her twins (my aunt and uncle) together in the early years and felt that it worked well for them, and then they went their own way when they got to middle school.  I will likely take her sage advice and opt to keep my twins together for now, until it becomes a problem or they ask to be in separate classes.

Some Weeks Are Just That Way

   I decided it would be a good idea to take a short term, evening temp job.  We were hurting a bit after a payroll hiccup courtesy of my husband's employer. This job was near to his so I could drop the kids to him in true baton parenting style and get my groove on.  To actually be a contributing member of the work force again felt good.  I kept getting compliments on how great I was doing, especially considering I was new.  The work was interesting too and not too stressful.  But as any working mom knows, the pull of home started.
     By the end of the week, my 6 year old called me the worst mom ever as I was trying to hurry them along to eat so we could leave.  After 2 weeks the laundry piles were insane and the house was a wreck.  It was also finals week for me.  I wasn't too worried.  I only had 2 oral Spanish exams.  Thankfully I got a text from a classmate reminding me that our final was on Friday, or I may not have shown up.  Both cars have been in the shop.  Normally with me as a SAHM that would be somewhat doable, but with 2 of us working it was insane.   The newer of the 2 was covered under warranty (thank you!).  My 7 year old minivan was not however.  Buh bye money from my 2 week temp job.
     It all culminated this morning.  I was trying to find clothes for the kids to wear.  I had just bought my twins coordinated Mickey and Minnie shirts.  Since we were attending an event for my twins club, I wanted them to wear them.  Did I mention my laundry piles?  I quickly found Minnie.  I thought Mickey would be close at hand, but no.  I went through 7 loads of yet to be folded laundry looking for Mickey.  I finally gave up.  Toy Story will have to do.  Then my 3 year old son has a fit.  He wanted the Mickey. Put him in the car naked I tell my husband.  Thankfully my husband got him dressed.  Then the lovely car seat shuffle ensued.  My minivan was still being fixed, so we had to take my husband's smaller car.  It had 2 carseats, but not the 3rd.  Getting all 3 car seats in is a minor feat of geometry and gymnastics.  Back seat gymnastics should be a whole lot more fun.
     We were on our way.  I call the host of our event to them know we are coming, but we are just a wee bit behind schedule.  Then the mechanic calls.  Car is all set and ready to pick up.  I should also know that he closes at noon and is not open on Sunday or Monday.  We cannot survive another 3 days on one car, so we turn off in the direction of the mechanic's shop.  We bend over, I mean pay the mechanic and switch the kids back to the beloved minivan (after all it does have a DVD player).  Then we got caught in traffic. Lately it seems there is construction on every egress in our area.  Tax dollars at work and job creation is fine and dandy, until it impedes my ability to get out of my one stoplight town.  I am usually more likely to get stuck behind a tractor than get stuck in traffic.
     We finally got to our event, just shy of an hour late.  Thankfully another mom arrived just before we did.  I love my twins moms.  They are all wonderful people, and we all have the same affliction.  The kids proceeded to have a wonderful time and they played so nicely together.  We even went out and had a nice lunch with little to no incident.  It did turn out to be a very nice day overall.
     I just wonder if the little bit (and I do mean little) of extra money was worth the hassle.  My house, my kids, my husband and my sanity have all suffered this week.  We gave the entirety of my 2, (yes not one but 2!) paychecks to the mechanic.  Gas is down this week, but still ridiculous, and take out isn't cheap either.  I guess my struggle to find balance continues.

Dancy Dance Dilemas

I'm thinking of signing my son up for dance.  My eldest daughter has danced for 3 years now, and mostly she loves it.  The twins have come with me for nearly all of her weekly classes.  They both stand pressed to the window and watch the class with longing to join in the fun. There has been the occasional melt down at not being allowed in.  Now that the twins are 3, they will be able to start classes in the fall.  I've had this plan all along, but as registration day approaches the detractors are coming out. Let me explain my reasoning just for the record:

1.  All of them will be going to one place.  I'm hoping to get lesson times adjacent to one another.
2.  All things being equal, all 3 of them should have the same opportunities.
3.  There is very little else in this one stoplight town as activities for kids go (at least at age 3).
     a.There is a karate place, but I think teaching him karate may just result in him beating on his sisters with increased efficiency.
     b.There is also the opportunity to do horseback riding.  However my son will not go near horses.
     c. Opportunities increase as you drive nearer to the city, but time is limited and gas is expensive.
4. Dance is good exercise.
5. There is an artistic component which I love. They learn the art of dance, and also music appreciation.
6. The dance studio does have a terrific program for boys.  He will have to sit through Kinderdance for a couple of years though. After their 3rd year they get to specialize in different styles of dance.
7. Anyone who says dance is just for girls is narrow minded.
8. I have this fantasy of my twins doing a pas de deux together.
9. He will be the cool kid at the school dances.
10.  To his future wife: YOU'RE WELCOME!

How I Got My Twins: A Fertility Journey

My mother has psychic dreams.  She tends to know when people are about to die.  She's had dreams about other things as well.  When I was about 15 she had a dream that I had twins.  She explained it in such detail it made an impression on me.  When I got pregnant the first time, I thought it may be twins.  Imagine my relief  when there was just one embryo on that first ultrasound. 

Fast forward a bit.  I tried for a long time to get pregnant the second time.  Okay, maybe it wasn't that long, but it felt long, especially when you are timing the pregnancy in relation to your first born.  We started passively trying shortly before her 1st birthday.  I got pregnant a few months later, but sadly lost the baby.  I was anxious to get started again, but my cycles never quite returned to normal.  All this time, my oldest is quickly growing.  I wanted my kids to be relatively close together.  Each cycle that went by, my closely spaced kids were getting further and further apart.  

I started charting, and it was blatantly obvious that I was not ovulating. After doing that for 6 months, I talked to my OB and she decided to put me on Clomid.  We had a trip planned to visit relatives in California around that time.  There was some blood work involved, and I had to find a place to do it.  I somehow ended up in the worst healthcare facility I have ever seen.  It took them weeks to get my lab results back and slowed our progress because so much depended on the questions those results were answering.  
I did 3 cycles of Clomid with no luck.  I still wasn't ovulating, so they referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist.  He was able to act quickly because I had such great charts.  We tried a different drug, Letrozole, which is supposed to have less chance of producing multiples than Clomid.  I got pregnant the second cycle.   

The day I found out I was pregnant, I saw a double rainbow.  In my mind, I knew that it was a sign that I was carrying twins.  It was as though God showed me his promise  of two babies, not only the baby we wanted, but also the one he had previously taken.  I had my HCG levels checked a few short days later.  They were okay, but not spectacular.  

Then we went back to California again.  They wanted me to do a follow up blood test a few days later. I was much more careful in choosing a lab provider this time.  It was strange how the fertility journey was book ended by lab work done in another state.  They did get my HCG levels back to my doctor the very next day.  The call from my doctor was cautiously optimistic.  My HCG levels had not quite doubled.  They were slightly concerned and warned me not to get my hopes up, this could put me at a greater risk for a miscarriage.  And here we had just told all of my husband's family the news.  We may have waited, but since we were there in person, we couldn't hold it in.  That, and the second I turned down a margarita they would have suspected anyway.  

Then on August 26, 2008, just after we arrived back in New York, my suspicions were confirmed.  My first ultrasound clearly showed 2 little heart beats, thumping away.  You could see them the second that the ultrasound tech put the wand on me.  She saw my jaw drop, and asked "Do you see what I see?"

I said "I think I see two!" 

My husband said "Two what?" 

My mother saw me get out of the car with the ultrasound picture in hand.  She could see the 2 sacs on that picture all the way from the picture window, and so she ran out to see.  Then she said it would be one of each.  Of course, she was right.  

Universal Truths of Parenting

Safety scissors barely cut construction paper, but will easily cut hair.

The length of the pause before the scream is directly proportional to the severity of the toddler's injury.

A child will always want the one someone else has, even if an identical item is offered, especially if  that someone else is a sibling.

If you are not paying attention, shoes will end up on the wrong feet more than seems statistically possible.

When in a rush, the slow child must do everything themselves, but when mom is sitting and eating, a simple task like getting a spoon out of the silverware drawer is beyond the zone of proximal development.

Clothes a child once refused to wear become beloved items when you try to hand them down to a younger sibling.

Daylight savings time is intended to ruin your life.  At least, it seems that way.  Also, at some point in June your children will refuse to go to bed because "it is still in the day."

Halloween is just one big orgiastic sugar fest. Let them binge. Then throw the remaining candy away come November 1st.  

Valentines Day is the new Halloween.  Seriously, must every card now include candy with it?

The first year is spent anxiously awaiting their first word and first step. You spend the next dozen or so telling them to sit down and be quiet.

The days are long but the years are short, so enjoy them as much as you can.

Kiddie Groomers

A friend recently posted this on FB: 

"I wish there was a place you could drop off your kids to have them bathed, then pick them up clean in an hour or so.... You know, like a dog groomer for small filthy humans."

Oh yes I thought!  This is what I need!  Absofrickenlutely! 

I'm imagining that I can throw the kids in the car in their skivvies and drop them off, get a nice cup of coffee, and come back to find them smelling sweet with their hair all done up pretty.  Or even better, you could drop them off at night, filthy from the day's play, catch a bite with your spouse, and pick them up in their jammies.  They would then fall peacefully to sleep on the car ride home, at which point you could put them into bed without waking them.  It's a nice fantasy.  

I'm lucky in that my kids love baths, but my house does not.  The bathroom floor is by far the cleanest place in my house as I mop it every time they take a bath.  I tend to avoid bathing them in the second floor bathroom for the sake of the ceilings.  

They also love to brush their teeth, but they have do do it themselves.  I guess they are doing okay because we had zero cavities for 60 teeth at their last dental appointment.  Flossing is another story, one that ends in someone being tied up with floss, usually the dog.  

Hair on the other hand is a disaster.  All 3 of my kids were blessed (or cursed) with my curly hair.  There is no getting a hair brush through this mess.  If left unattended, it can dread, as in like a dread lock.  I gave up on long hair for the girls and instead did short bobs this summer (not like the child abuse mullet my mother subjected me to as a child).  

Fingernails are another dreaded project.  I have to wrestle them to the ground and practically sit on them to cut their nails.  And their toe nails - yuck.  I can generally bribe the girls with nail polish, which leads to my son wanting also nail polish.  It's hard to come up with a good reason why he shouldn't have his done like his sisters, so you go ahead and give in.  What color does he want?  No not the nude pink that you try to pawn off on him hoping no one will notice.  He wants every color of the rainbow, and proudly shows it to everyone he comes into contact with.  You haven't lived until your son's pre-K teacher comments on your son's rainbow nail polish.  

In general, trying to get out of the house to go anywhere is a project with three small children.  I have to get myself ready to go first, but by the end I'm a sweaty mess.  I've tried doing it the opposite way, and dressing the children first then getting dressed right before I go out the door, but then I come to find the children in various states of undress.  And those 6 socks that I managed to find and get on little feet are now 3 socks.  The dryer has nothing on my children when it comes to losing socks.   And gloves, gloves are way worse than socks.  I tried sewing them to their sleeves.  The little stinkers ripped them off.  This year I may have to make use of the staple gun. I'd also like to know when clothing manufacturers stopped making mittens in favor of gloves?  Mittens actually keep your hands warmer, and you only have to worry about getting the thumb in the right place.  I have to do 30 fingers each morning. I pity the poor pre-K teachers who have to do 100+.  Unfortunately that is not a task can't be farmed out to the Kiddy Spa.  I'll just have to suffer through the next few winters.  If my kids end up with frost bite, please don't judge me too harshly.  

Twinados

 A few years ago there was a sci-fi phenomenon called Sharknado.  I haven't actually seen the movie, but I would venture to bet my twins are far more destructive.  They have earned their nicknames, The Twinados and Los Terramotitos, which in Spanish means the little earth quakes.
    People have said that I should write a parenting book.  I'm not sure that I'm the best role model, however, I provide my Facebook Friends with much amusement.  As time goes by, I would have thought that the destruction would ebb, but no.  Bigger kids make bigger messes. 

"What I thought was a blue-green algae problem in our aquarium turned out to be 2 markers thrown into the tank by a certain 4 year old little boy."

I had put my children to bed. After an hour or so passed, MJ just walked into my bedroom covered in honey. HONEY of all things. I can't make this stuff up. Why did they have honey in their room? Maybe a Pooh homage? Or a reenactment of a scene from the "Parent Trap".

Once upon a time on a very snowy day, a certain little boy made it snow inside the house.

I can't walk yet, but I can sure climb, especially if cookies are involved.

They won't miss just a couple of grapes. 

I bought the Gyro bowls in hopes that less food would find it's way onto the floor.
Final Score:

Twinadoes - 57

Gyro Bowl - 1

We were coloring before nap time.  After I put the twins down, I noticed several markers were gone.  I looked under the table, then under the radiators, finding absolutely nothing.  Then when they woke up I found this.  My daughter had stuck a number of markers into her jammies to smuggle them up to her room, like a prisoner at Shawshank would smuggle contraband. 

                                              

Guys, Mommy needs those for the lesson she is teaching tomorrow . . . okay just one more each.  No, no more. Sigh I give up, I'll just stop at the store on the way to school.  

I try to be the fun mom.  Really I do.  I so wanted to get a ginormous pumpkin and take a picture of one of them sitting inside it.  This was all I got.  #PinterestFail

This was our only shot to get pictures of our kids on a card.

Antonio: OMG get me down
Aurora: is he really Santa?
Mariella: SHH it's Santa

Antonio: Where's my blankie?
Aurora: Zhuzhu pets, Legos, leap pad and and . . .
Mariella: Relax Toto

Antonio: Thank you mommy, about that blankie, daddy?
Aurora: Santa don't forget, Barbie
Mariella: can I have a cookie now?

As I stood in line at Time Warner Cable to exchange this remote, the twins were all over the place.  I could barely keep a straight face as I told the clerk "It just suddenly stopped working." 

This is an entire bottle of shampoo.  It gives new meaning to the phrase "carpet shampoo".

Stuck.

This also was the work of the twinados.

But then they are so good sometimes, people think I'm crazy. Don't let this picture fool you.